In Memory of Kirsten Hartman -by Bonnie Shetler
I recently lost a good friend, colleague, teammate. A week ago on a Wednesday Kirsten and I were sitting next to each other at our monthly women’s gathering, sharing thoughts on the current state of national affairs. The next day she suffered a brain aneurism and was airlifted to Anschutz Medical Center. After a few hope-raising rallies, she died during the early hours of the following Monday.
I have experienced several personal losses in the past few months and Kirsten’s death has finally given me pause to consider how much I take meaningful relationships for granted until they are gone. The empty hole she leaves behind is so much bigger than I would have imagined had I taken time to consider. I didn’t take time to consider since I have 4 years on her and she was was a healthy and strong presence in so many of our lives.
I first met Kirsten sometime in the mid 1990’s when she moved to Fort Collins and was starting her own private practice as a care manager. I had my own counseling practice which focused on issues of late life. We both had joined a group of like-minded professionals--The ElderCare Network--with the common goal of educating the community about challenges and resources related to aging. It was a very active, committed group and Kirsten, of course, dove right in and quickly became a leader in creating opportunities for local families to learn about caregiving.
Our professional paths crossed quite often as we developed a mutual respect for each other’s work and shared both the frustrations and the rewards of serving those struggling with the complexities of aging. While I generally prefer to work quietly in the background, she was a persistent and outspoken advocate.
When she finally retired it did not take too much to persuade her to lend her skills in support of the work of the Partnership for Age-Friendly Communities. She chaired the team of volunteers focusing on projects addressing the local culture of aging and helped herd the team of local writers who contribute to this Graceful Aging blog. She scheduled and chaired our meetings, made sure each of us followed up on our commitments, contributed her own blogs and helped organize our larger gatherings where we brainstormed ideas. I personally benefited from her reminders about deadlines I had committed to and zoom links I forgot to send. She encouraged and supported trying new ideas, actively sought out blog contributors, and provided reassurance that all would be well when confidence in the project flagged.
Kirsten was a force to be reckoned with. Kind, caring, outspoken, a fierce advocate for those in need. There are no words sufficient to describe my sense of loss.
Goodbye, my friend. I will miss you.
Bonnie Shetler lives in the foothills west of Fort Collins where she works and volunteers remotely, sometimes writes, often bikes, hikes, reads, and idly considers the vastness of time and space. She and her husband both enjoy exploring and camping in the back country.
