Those “Do Unto Others” Moments -by Jane Nicolet
On my journey, I’ve discovered I’m the one who has to take responsibility for creating the world view I choose to live, and I’m happy to accept that. Still, I’m guessing it’s also become even more evident that fully living the life we hope for is impossible to manage alone. We need each other. We need those Golden Rule moments – figuratively, spiritually, even literally – to help lift us up and over as we travel through life.
I looked up and thought to myself, “Hey, you have a great smile.” I wish I had said that aloud to the woman who passed me in the gym that morning. But I didn’t. A missed opportunity to offer a small kindness, to pass on with my own smile what is vital in my world view: that we, all of us, really are intertwined within this challenging, beautiful, ambitious and sometimes incredibly difficult endeavor called life.
So, what’s grace look like when things go sideways? Hmmm …. I lean away from the keyboard and close my eyes. And there they were . . . the faces where kindness radiates, hope shines, and courageous, compassionate truth-telling emerges. It is in those places I’ve felt daily grace come alive and visible, in and around me. I hear a “thank you;” a “no, please, you first;” a “can I help you?” Then, what do you know, life suddenly feels less dangerous . . . more merciful, generous . . . more manageable.
Poet, D. Lameris, says it this way in “Small Kindnesses”:
“I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk down
a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs to let you walk by.
Or how strangers still say ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes,
a leftover from the Bubonic plague. ‘Don’t die,’ we are saying.
And sometimes, when you spill lemons from your
grocery bag, someone else will help you pick them up.
Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other. We want to be
handed our cup of coffee hot, and to say thank you
to the person handing it. To smile at them and for them
to smile back. . . .
We have so little of each other, now. So far from
tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange.
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy,
these fleeting temples we make together when we
say,
‘Here, have my seat,’
‘Go ahead—you first,’
’I like your hat.’”
Small, gracious kindnesses = a more beautiful life for each of us.
By the way, and I write this with a smile, you are loved.
Author, writing coach, freelance editor and facilitator, Jane Nicolet, grew up in the arms of a small Midwestern town located on the banks of the Mississippi. In the midst of pursuing her roles as wife, mother of two and professional educator, her adult son, Matthew, died. Eventually, Nicolet began exploring ways to navigate the painful complexities of her profound loss, and in time captured her experiences within her memoir, Letters for Grace. In her second book, Finding Grace: journeys of grief, courage and healing, the author, using narratives gathered through interviews with other bereaved parents as well as her own thought-provoking essays, follows those who are moving onward, charting their own next steps.
Nicolet now lives and writes in Fort Collins, CO. To know more, follow her blog, and contact her, go to www.janenicoletauthor.com
